We Are Not Okay

We Are Not Okay

On Epstein, ICE, and the Takeover of America February 11, 2026

With regard to the recent onslaught of information about the Epstein files among other things, I’d like to express deep gratitude to the friends who have been checking in to see “how I’m holding up.” I’m holding up, but I am not ok. Here are my thoughts. Here’s part of how I’m processing it.

I’ve never been christian but over the years I’ve had many, many friends and clients who were. People who put their time and money into that operating system, and who fully, wholly believed in it for most of their lives. Then, something happened.

Sometimes it took awhile - it was a slow crawl to a conclusion. Sometimes it was a rip the band-aid off, hit the brick wall at 100mph kind of experience. Some described it as a feeling of having the rug ripped out from under them, and panicking at the free fall sensation that followed. Confronting the reality of their situation was brutal. Facing the stark realization that they’d been duped - lied to, stolen from, betrayed; some of them sexually assaulted and abused, by the very people they entrusted their time, given their life-minutes to, entrusted their bodies, their souls, and their money to, only to discover that none of it was true, and seemingly everyone knew it but them. It wasn’t just one or two isolated incidents, it was the whole system and there was a circle of complicity that they never imagined existed. They felt despair, confusion, self doubt, disappointment and disbelief.

That’s much like the way I feel now. I feel stupid and naive. I believed that people are at heart, well meaning. I believed in our government, that the Constitution was not perfect, there was room for change but that there was a very clear and thoughtful process for effecting those changes, that it stood as an impenetrable fortress, intended to protect and preserve and that any changes would be reflective if that. I believed our elected officials truly had the best interest of this nation and its people at heart, even if their vision of what that meant was a bit different than mine, that they would sill be guided and would abide by the Constitution.

As a law enforcement officer, I’ve seen some horrible things, things that no eyes should ever have to see. People at their lowest, their very worst. The human mind degraded, bodies ravaged and desecrated. I, perhaps with some hubris, believed that I was strong enough to bear witness to these things so others wouldn’t have to, that I was taking that hit for humanity. That I could hold it, and I did. Even so, like the former christians, I believed that psychopaths and sociopaths were isolated individuals, an anomaly. I was wrong.

What I never imagined, was the depth, the breadth, the height and the longevity of this current state of affairs among the leadership of our religious organizations, the leadership of our country, and of the world; and of the wealthiest among us. These people who have never known lack, who have never wanted for anything. This class of humans who pay cash for their third yacht, $75,000 for a purse; who hire body guards for themselves and their heirs, while an unconscionable number of elementary school children go without food, or winter coats, and learn how to barricade a classroom door in an active shooter drill. The depravity of this current rot hit me like a scalding awakening sending shockwaves through my body and knocking the air from my lungs. I thought we were just meeting a little resistance on our way to moving into a better place, a better world. We’re not; we’re only beginning to scratch the surface of how much of a facade that was, of how bad things really are, how deep they go, and how complicated it will be for us to extricate ourselves from he tangled, incestous damage that has already been done. I’m not certain we’ll be able to stop it. We can only hope to move through it to the other side.

I’m trying to maintain a brave face for my Earth Traditions community but I’m bleeding, and I’m hoping the bravery is not just false bravado. I know I’ll be ok but I’m shattered right now, and while many seem to think the Tower has fallen, and are eager to move onto the next era, The Star, I don’t think it’s over. The Tower is not done falling and inside the walls was a hydra, that has now been unleashed upon the world. It’s going to take a Herculean effort, by many, many people, to chop and seal all those heads.

There’s a very real possibility that there will be no reckoning, no accountability - that these mutherfuckers are going to walk. These perpetrators of pedophilia, of rape, of fraud, of environmental destruction through the clandestine building of data centers, and the intentional concerted efforts to bankrupt family farms, buy up the land for pennies on the dollar, and in turn, control our food and water supplies.

I have come to the realization that even as I watch most of the things I have spent my life fighting the hardest for circle the drain, and I’m not even sure that we understand the extent of what it is that we need to be saved from… yet. But, I know this, no one is coming to save us, the saving is up to us.

If you’re feeling this too, I just want to say that it’s ok that you’re not ok. The grief is real, and in this case, the loss is like an amputation, of hope, of confidence, of compassion, empathy, and of human rights. But our psyches are like starfish; we can grow back what is amputated. I can still be effective, I just have to tighten my circle of influence. The perpetrators of these heinous crimes may never see justice as I envision it, however - I know that their cycle will eventually end.

I hold the immortal words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., inspired by Rosa Parks, close to my heart. "If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way."

© Angie Buchanan February 11, 2026